Fathers Take The Plunge: A Look At Waterbirth

Posted on 25 October, 2013 by Judith Halek

By Judith Elaine Halek

Photos and Article Copyright @ 2013 Judith Elaine Halek

Being a good dad is like being a good husband–learn as you go and do the best you can. One thing prospective fathers should keep in mind is this: a couple-focused pregnancy provides both a healthier pregnancy and birth experience and is a time when all three parties bond. Although fatherhood is probably the most important role a man will play in his lifetime, many men have been culturally and emotionally separated from pregnancy and the childbearing process.

As an observer at many births, my grandest observation is the remarkable change that takes place in men (whether the actual father or partner, a friend, brother or family member) while assisting the labor and birth. One father commented, “I have a newfound respect for my wife. I don’t think I could have ever done what she did, go through what she went through to have our child.”

During a baby’s birth, the father’s presence can markedly alleviate a mother’s pain and anxiety, and it certainly enhances his experience of the birth. It is crucial the mother not feel alone during this strenuous time. Many studies have shown that infants recognize and respond to voices they hear in the womb, therefore it is important to maintain a modicum of peace, tranquility and communication at all times.

One father who acted distant and angry during the labor and birth of his child finally let go of most of his defenses when I challenged, “Can we put the weapons down and let the egos go so we can help your child enter a place of welcome and peace?” By the time the baby was actually out daddy had softened immeasurably.

Those of you who have witnessed a birth know what I’m talking about. A sacred transformation takes place that crosses beyond the boundary of mere words.

My extensive work assisting people make the informed choice to birth babies in water and/or use water labor instead of the traditional “drug the mother” syndrome has brought both myself and the clients’ experience to newer, loftier heights. I have become very curious about fathers’ reactions and level of participation. I began to keep data–who initiated the idea and when the decision was made, were fathers able to support their partners during preparation, and did they clean up after the event?

It was important for me to know exactly what these new fathers would say about their waterbirth experience to other prospective dads. I set about doing this by interviewing six waterbirth fathers. They ranged from thirty to sixty years old with Indian, Italian, Hispanic and African American backgrounds.

Heads Bowed - Copyright 2004 Birth Balance When I asked the father why he chose to attend the labor and birth of his partner, the responses were uplifting. “Why not?” said a new daddy, “It’s my child as well. To me it was a moment getting to know and get closer to my wife. I can assure you, it did. It took the relationship to another level. Relationships are a collection of experiences and it’s brought us closer together. Forget the candlelight dinners guys, you can’t compare it and it may happen only once or twice in your life. Don’t miss it.”

Another father told me,” I felt it would be a good thing to see a baby born into this world. Doctors see this all the time, why can’t I?”

One man said, “I wanted to be part of it. We are a team. I was also curious to see the whole process. I’m in my thirties. Most of the guys in my generation are really into supporting their partners as opposed to older generations who might not be so interested in seeing the whole experience.”

When asked whose idea it was to have the waterbirth, most men responded, “both partners.” One father commented, “We were unhappy with conventional births. When we heard there was a more gentle, drugless approach to having a baby we went to a waterbirth educator and realized it was more normal to have the baby in water than the air. My wife’s obstetrician told us about a waterbirth educator. When we saw the videos I was really more supportive of doing the birth this way. At first I had to talk my wife into it. But that didn’t take too long.”

Another father told me, “The midwife suggested it. My wife was very open to it so I had no objections. We’d had three babies the traditional air birth. My second wife and I were having our fourth when we saw pictures of water babies. They looked so much calmer and happier. That’s when we decided to have our next child underwater.”

When asked about concerns or fears regarding this alternative method, one father replied, “No concerns. The water looked less traumatic and more comfortable for my wife and baby. It was something completely new to us.” Another dad added, “We had only heard of it two to three weeks prior to the birth of our child. It was a little nerve-racking, but I had no specific concerns.”

It was the father’s choice to enter or not enter the birth pool. One dad had a cold and didn’t think going in was a wise decision; others just felt a little overwhelmed. One excited father who did enter the pool said, “This goes to show how things can change. I thought I wouldn’t go in, but I was in the water ten minutes before my wife. I didn’t want to miss a moment of the birth. It was OK. I was behind my wife. I could hear the doula and the documentarian say, ‘Here comes the head.’ When the moment came, I was crying like a baby. I was totally overwhelmed!”

When queried about how important a part the water played, one father responded, “Vital–the only thing that prevented her from getting drugs!” Another stated, “The water was like a lifeline for her, something she could hold onto even if she didn’t use it very much until the birth. Just having it was her security.”

Preparation for a waterbirth means going to a waterbirth educator, getting an OK from the medical caregivers and institutions, looking at videos and pictures, ordering a tub, and lots and lots of talking to each other. If your facility does not supply a tub, you’ll need to rent one. Once done you must make contact with the hospital or birth center maintenance staff to ensure that the hot water hose adapters match the water faucets. Prior to the labor you will want to actually set up the tub.

Filling up the tub is optional but timing is everything, so get an idea from the staff how long your tub might take to fill. Knowing this relieves both parents of undue stress.

One of the most important elements mentioned by all six men was the hiring of a labor support specialist or labor doula. This is a person specializing and certified in assisting couples during their labor and birth. The doula attends the mother and baby while the father is busy with the tub before and after the birth. It is an added bonus if the doula is experienced in the waterbirth arena. She can give helpful tips on when to utilize the water and when it’s unnecessary.

One father advised, “Let the midwife and doula, if there is one, do their job. This is the best way to go if you don’t want to see your wife suffer.”

If you are considering the unique joy of waterbirth, make sure you employ a doula who is a team player. She should be open to allowing your full participation. Knowing and trusting her methods can really relieve the pressure. Though it may take some time, get the medical establishment to support you in your choice. Next, seek out a waterbirth educator or a labor specialist interested in waterbirth. Watch as many videos as possible and above all, be patient. Talk to people who have had this experience. Remember, knowledge is power. Make a choice to become intimately involved in one of life’s greatest moments. You won’t regret it.

Feelings of Fear

Posted on 3 September, 2013 by Judith Halek

Eyes of Hope stock photo

What do you do when you are sitting alone in your thoughts and all you can do is sit in fear? FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. Which brings up the question, is what we are feeling fearful about really real? Or are we making up, misinterpreting, projecting from past unhealed experiences something that is not really true and keeps us spiraling in a circle? Another interpretation for FEAR is : Feeling Excited And Ready. When one experiences a ‘healthy’ fear such as the butterflies in the belly before going on stage or giving a speech can be a motivation to push forward into one’s power. Others say it represents: F*%#— Everything And Run! This appears to be the definition most people adopt, consciously and unconsciously in ones life. It’s easier to run away, leave, think, act, do something else which take away the feelings. The truth is, ultimately we can’t get away. Whatever it is will always come back in one form or another to offer the opportunity for growth beyond that which we are fearful about. Abraham Hicks says fear and trust cannot occupy the same space in time. So, we choose, moment to moment, hopefully taking full responsibility in that choice.

Neale Walsch, author of Conversations With God Says: “On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know……that your fears have stopped you before, but they need not stop you now. What’s the worst that can happen? And if that happened, what would happen then? And if that happened, then what? Now…if you give in to your fears, where will that leave you? Right where you are now? And if that’s where you want to be, why is the other option even a little bit exciting to you?”

Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now, says fear is part of the “pain body.” The “pain body” is “the accumulated emotional pain from the past and an aspect of the egoic sense of Self. It is not always active. There are dormant and active periods. When it is dormant, you can live with yourself and so can others. It is still problematic and you can be a nuisance to yourself and others. Yet, when that sense of Self becomes energized, active, it’s based on the accumulated pain of the past that everyone comes into the world with, genetically, collectively, personally through childhood and into parenthood. Fear, an aspect of the ’pain body’ is a field of alive energy, contracted, temporary life form, that lives in each of us.”

Maryanne Williamson, from the Course of Miracles says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you NOT to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us: it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

There is a wonderful book entitled, When Fear Falls Away, The Story of a Sudden Awakening, by Jan Frazier. Jan’s website is: www.whenfearfallsaway.com.

It is known, the fundamental emotion which creates havoc during pregnancy and labor is fear. Fear causes pain in the bodies; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The physical body is the grossest and densest of the bodies and the last to receive the information. (Unless you are putting your hand on a hot stove and it will be the FIRST of the bodies to receive the information!) When a woman or partner or birth caregiver is in a state of fear, adrenaline and catecholemines (fight or flight hormones) are being secreted which stop the flow of oxytocin (the love hormone) and endorphines and opiates (pain reducers).

So, when we are sitting in our ‘field of fear,’ is it only our own fear or everyone else’s fear in the collective field? Maybe it’s both, like Tolle says.

Whew…I am breathing it all off to the left. Remembering what I have forgotten which is I am so much more than all of it, including the FEAR.

Welcome Through Heart

Posted on 3 September, 2013 by Judith Halek

There is no more honorable work than assisting a newborn onto the planet. Since 1987 I’ve had the fortune of sharing my talents and skills as a professional Labor Assistant (doula) with parents as they birth their babies. We are ‘Heart Keepers’ as we ‘hold the space’ for semblance and symmetry. When someone in the birth team, (doctors, midwives, nurses, anesthesiologists, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, friends) become out of resonance with the core couple (mom/partner and baby), it’s up to the doula to help bring back the energy through communication, compromise and breath. I help the couple to look at their options and encourage them to make the final decisions. As a Heart Keeper doula, I am required to be patient, release my ego, calmly and quietly redirect the mother and/or partner into their bodies, breath and connection to their baby. “Doula” is a Greek word meaning, “woman assistant.” In Zulu, the word, “Dula” means “To Be.”

And now, in the Spring of 2011, I experience many individuals sharing their gifts and talents as the global heart awakens to a new potential human, like the newborn, reflecting the possibility of their greatest good. The planet is in a chrysalis state, moving out of the old paradigm of the caterpillar to the ultimate expression of the butterfly.

As a baby begins with the union of seed from father and egg from mother, new life emerges and forms in the aquatic chrysalis within the mother’s womb. The heart, the first organ to develop in the fetus, begins beating at 3 weeks and one day from fertilization. Here’s a cryptic play on the word EARTH: take the H and place it in front of the E and the new word is HEART. We are born onto a ‘heart planet’.

The latest Heart Coherence studies are discovering the heart has it’s own nervous system more powerful than the brain/spine nervous system. Scientists have measured and proven we have an emotional response before a thought. The emotions are indicators as to what we think, good or bad. Further studies show when a subject is looking at a series of images flashed before their eyes, there is an anticipated, precognitive feeling of the next image within seconds before it is flashed in front of them.

Is this science fiction, or the ability to measure that which has always been within us? These are exciting times we live in. How do you share through the heart?

The Truth About Motherhood – Oprah 4/6/09

Posted on 3 September, 2013 by Judith Halek

Times have changed. My mother raised 5 children in the 1950′s, without a nanny, cook, housecleaner, or babysitter. When she was pregnant with me, she had 3 toddlers under the age of 5. Tired? There wasn’t a WORD for it according to my mother. She sat down one day at the table in the middle of the day with her mother and just started crying. Her mother was shocked, “What’s the matter?” My mother released, “Oh, I guess I am just tired, it all seems so overwhelming!” Of course my stoic grandmother came out with, “You dry up those tears. You have nothing to cry about. You have a house over your head, food on the table, a husband who doesn’t drink and run around with other women. You have nothing to cry about.” Ah yes, yet ANOTHER level of suppression.

Here we are in 2009, with programs allowing “voices to be heard.” My question is, by expressing one’s experience and focusing on the negative can this potentially keep people in the negative? Or is it therapeutic to ‘get it out’ and not keep it trapped in the body? I understand the rationalization of the expression is to ‘release’ the tension, ‘be heard,’ ‘allow one to vent,’ in order to move on. Yet on this particular show, “The Truth About Motherhood,” while there were funny moments throughout and interesting concepts to ponder, I wonder if we are setting up the women to get ready for the dysfunction before it might not happen?

Because I have not bore or raised children, most would say I am not one to even have an opinion. For the past 22 years I’ve counseled, assisted and helped over 1,100 babies come into the world. I speak not as your average woman without child. I am empathetic and have always encouraged my clients, friends and family members to ‘express themselves’ in order to release and move on. I don’t lie about the realities of ‘lack of sleep,’ needing to take care of oneself amidst the demands of the baby and/or their partner. I encourage coping tools, humor, support and expression to counter the extraordinary demands in this high paced society we live in today.

“The Truth About Motherhood” : Monday, April 6, 2009. http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090311-tows-mom-truth

Longtime friends Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile set out on the motherhood journey together. They had perfect plans—Amy would stay at work after kids; Trisha would have three children, set exactly two years apart. But, like so many best-laid plans, things didn’t work out like they thought. Motherhood, they say, was more overwhelming than they expected. “It was like a bomb hit us,” Amy says. “I didn’t feel I had permission to talk about how hard motherhood really was.” Eventually, Trisha and Amy say they reached their breaking point, and they set out to see if other mothers shared their struggles. After interviewing hundreds of women, they say they’ve heard all the dirty little secrets of motherhood. Their first book, “I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids,” was based on their findings.

One of the most poignant messages on the program that day from a, ‘Stay At Home Mom:”

Dee-Dee is currently a stay-at-home mom, but she was a working mother once too. “The competition is there because we create it for ourselves,” she says. “There’s really no reason to compete, because [stay-at-home moms] are just as busy as the working mom. The working mom is just as busy as we are. We just tend to sometimes put the focus on the wrong things. We’re all busy 24/7. I consider myself an at-home working mother.” Amy says these wars arise out of our own uncertainties as mothers. “We’re insecure about the choices we’re making—that’s why we’re judging each other,” she says. “We need to give ourselves a collective break.”

That is right everyone needs to give themselves a ‘collective break.’ People don’t these days, the ego runs rampant. The oxygen mask goes on the mother last and unfortunately everyone around her as well as herself is dead because she didn’t put it on herself FIRST. So often women have lost themselves and their relationship with their partner, in the details of everyday life. Family and children come first, work next, life next, maybe partner and then themselves. The last and most exhausted part of who they are. And so these women get sick. All the time they think they are being “strong” because they are able to “do it all.” This is not a reflection of strength, it is weakness.

Kids need to see that you are ‘real.’ One mother’s response to that realness was:

Now that Karen has learned the ropes of motherhood, she’s got some tricks she’s willing to share. “I think the best way to discipline is for your kid to think that you’re just a little bit crazy,” she says. “You’ve got to make them think that this might be the moment that Mom finally loses it.” Karen says she came up with her new method when she once threatened to take away all of her daughter’s toys. “Of course she didn’t believe me, so she [misbehaved] again and I didn’t even yell. … I went in and cleaned out her room. There wasn’t so much as a Lego left,” she says. A day later, Karen put the toys back, but she says those 24 hours did the trick. “Now, all I have to do is get that sort of wild I’m-gonna-take-all-your-toys-away look in my eye, and she straightens up.”

Of course motherhood, with the baby on the outside, creates lessons of surrender:

Melinda Roberts, a mom of three, says she had to learn on her own that motherhood is like a 12-step program. “You’ve got to take it one day at a time sometimes,” she says. “You feel like: ‘If I can get out of bed and get breakfast on the table, I’ll be happy. If I can get them to school, I’ll be happy.’”One major motherhood realization that Melinda says she had with her first child was that she could no longer control everything in her life. “You can no longer choose your activities, your down time, when you get to sleep,” she says. “No matter what you do or where you go, you’re always tethered to this other human being in this unbreakable, incredibly fragile way. Anything you do will affect this child potentially for the rest of their life.”

No program would be complete with out discussion of “Is there Sex after babies?”

One popular topic on Heather’s blog (http://www.dooce.com) is sex and how it changes when you are a mom. “It took seven months [before I had sex after giving birth]. No one had told me that it was going to take that long after what the baby did to me,” Heather says. “Any guy who wants to have unprotected sex? Seven months without it. Just think about that for a minute. Let that number circulate in your head for a little bit.” Karen says the definition of intimacy has changed for her marriage since her child was born. “Intimacy in our house nowadays is my husband and I touching ankles below my daughter’s sleeping form between us,” she says. “It’s really hard to get that loving feeling when you’ve got a 40-pound kid between you.”

No wrong or right, good or bad, a forum for reflection, discussion and support. Where do you stand in YOUR truth about motherhood?

The Photograph- Hand From The Womb

Posted on 3 September, 2013 by Judith Halek

Please read before viewing picture – it’s worth it!

A picture began circulating in November. It should be ‘The Picture of the Year,’ or perhaps, ‘Picture of the Decade.’ It won’t be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner.

The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother’s womb. Little Samuel’s mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner’s remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon’s finger. Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, ‘Hand of Hope.’ The text explaining the picture begins, “The tiny hand of 21-week- old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother’s uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life.”

Little Samuel’s mother said they “wept for days” when they saw the picture. She said, “The photo reminds us pregnancy isn’t about disability or an illness, it’s about a little person.” Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percent successful. Now see the actual picture.

Don’t tell me our God isn’t an awesome God!!!!!

Samuel Alexander Armas, Picture of the Year, Hand of Hope

The Future of Our Children

Posted on 3 September, 2013 by Judith Halek

~ ~

TO ALL WHO “SURVIVED” THE 1950′s, 60′s and 70′s…

Jay Leno, Television Talk Show Host

(February 2009)

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank while they were pregnant. They also took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and they didn’t get tested for diabetes. We were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors of cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we wore baseball caps and not helmets on our heads. We rode in cars with no infant car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, and riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm sunny day was a sumertime treat for every kid and teenager and family dog.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one died from it. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and things cooked with bacon grease. We drank Kool-Aid made with real sugar and rarely ever were any of us overweight. Why? Because we were always outside playing… that’s why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back by the time the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.!

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, got a few broke bones, and there were no lawsuits from these incidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out everyone’s eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! And the idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law- and the law actually sided with the PARENTS.

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors in history. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with ALL of it. If you are one of the lucky ones who were fortunate enough to grow up in America BEFORE the lawyers and the government regulated childhood out of existence, congratulations! Try not to cry today when you look at your grandchild’s smiling sweet face, try not to think of what a pittiful excuse for a childhood they’re going to have compared to yours. Cry when you think of THEIR children.

“With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe storms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”

Father Knows Best – Oprah

Posted on 20 June, 2013 by Judith Halek

On April 13, 2009, Oprah did a show on the challenges and wonders of fatherhood. While there are far more single mothers, there are about 2 million single fathers in the United States. They deal with all of the struggles a single mother does. Schedules, cooking, laundry, school activities. Oprah celebrated these ‘unsung heroes’ on her show. There were four rather unusual stories that will shock you, move you, bring tears to your eyes as these amazing men find the strength, stamina, heartfelt, selfless duty and love, to share with their children.

One father, Larry Shine, lost his wife, Kate, two and a half years after the birth of their first child. He went on to adopt eight more children from all over the world. Watch a typical day in a house of 10. Larry is a full time corporate attorney and he starts his day at 3 am. Not only would nine children be a challenge, but the household could not have been complete without their token dog, Betty the Bulldog.

Another father, Matt Logelin and his partner Liz, had just became a proud new parents with a beautiful baby girl, Madeline. Born in the morning and by the afternoon, Liz died of a blood clot no one knew she had. Matt had to mourn the loss of his wife and find and follow-through with a typical day of diaper changes and life moving on. Matt created a blog to help him cope with the pain (view his blog here). Thousands of people started reading Matt’s blog. This online community shocked him. Complete strangers were sending him money, toys etc. Matt believes in the ‘give back as much as been given.’ He’s been recycling the clothing Madeleine has grown out of, and has established The Liz Logelin Foundation which helps widows and widowers with children.

The next couple, Gregory Maguire and Andy Newman fell in love and adopted three children from Cambodia and Guatemala. While they might be judged as unconventional by some people…they believe their household is ‘just like any others.’ The names the kids have given their dads are: ”Dada” and “Ba,” the Khmer word for father.

Probably the most touching and heart wrenching story was of a couple Dana Canedy and Charles King. During Dana’s pregnancy, Charles was deployed to Iraq. Six months after Dana gave birth to their son, Jordan, Charles was give 2 weeks leave to see his new family. A full, whirl wind of a visit was to be his only visit with his son. Sadly, Charles returned to Iraq, he was killed in a roadside bombing. When Dana was five and half months pregnant, she’d bought a journal for Charles to record his notes to his unborn son, Jordan. Charles became obsessed with putting down on paper his deepest thoughts about what he wanted to say to his unborn son. After a long day, Charles would come back to his bunk and spend countless hours therapeutically, writing, releasing and sharing. He wrote about the power of God and prayer in his life. He wrote about his love for the military service and more than anything about his respect for women. What a gift this father gave to his son.

One note to Dana in his journal: “This is the letter that every soldier should write. I want to thank you for our son…I’d like to see him grow up to be a man, but only God knows what the future holds” (See what Charles wrote on his son here).

Men don’t typically keep journals. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they might take a lesson from Charles about the preciousness of life, teaching, learning, sharing and pick up that pen and write down in words, that which they might not say directly to their partners, children or family. The world would be a different place.

Conscious Parenting

Posted on 14 June, 2013 by Judith Halek

~ “The children desire freedom! And every particle of their being from their Source says, ‘You are free. You are so free, that every thought you offer, the entire Universe jumps to respond to it.’ And so, to take that kind of knowledge and try to confine it in any way, defies the Laws of the Universe. You must allow your children to be free, because the entire Universe is set up to accommodate that. And anything you do to the contrary will only bring you regret. You cannot contain those that cannot be contained. It defies Law.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Atlanta, GA on Sunday, September 19th, 1999 #400

~ “The little ones still remember how to use the power of their imagination. They are still engaged in the utilization of their imagination — that is one of the reasons that keeps them so exhilarated.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Spokane, WA on Wednesday, July 7th, 1999 # 394.

~ “Babies Are Thinking and Attracting Before They Are Speaking… Even though you are only months old in your physical body, you are a very old and wise creator focused in that baby’s body. And you came with powerful intentions to experience contrast and to launch clear rockets of desire into your Vibrational Reality for the purpose of expansion. People often assume that because a child is not yet offering words, the child could not be the creator of its own experience, but it is our promise to you that no one else is creating your experience. Children emanate Vibrations which are the reason for what they attract – even from their time of birth.” – Excerpted from the book, The Vortex, Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships # 333.

~ “Parents don’t want their children to make the wrong decisions, so they don’t allow them to make the decision. And then the child becomes dependent, and then the parent resents that, and it gets off into a blameful thing early on. If you are encouraging children to do all that they can do — and not squelching the natural eagerness that is within them, so that they can shine and thrive and show you and themselves how good they are at adapting to physical experience — then everyone wins.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Dallas, TX on Saturday, March 13th, 1999 # 393.

~ “If we had a child, or anyone, and we caught them doing something inappropriate, we would not amplify it with our words. We would identify what it is we do not want, and then out of it would come the rocket of desire of what we do want, and then we would just visualize, visualize, visualize, until we find peace within our vision. When you make someone and their action the heart of a vision that you’ve spent time on — your relationship improves, your experience is better, and they receive the benefit of the experience. But if you catch them, and see them, and worry about it, and put mechanisms in place to prevent it, now you have not only amplified it, you have now made a commitment that is hooking you both into that, until usually it gets big enough that you break apart, and then you attract others to fulfill that role.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Chicago, IL on Sunday, April 25th, 1999 #588.

~ “The reason the grandchildren will benefit by the launched rockets that you’ve set forth; is because they’re born with no resistance to the rockets of desires that you’ve launched forth… You’ve seen those little ones on computers? They have no problem with that. They were born with computers in their life; they’re born cable-ready. They’re already up to speed with what you’ve launched into the vibrational future. And that’s one of the reasons that it’s nice when the old ones croak and the new ones come in, because it sort of dilutes the resistance factor that’s going on on this planet.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Tarrytown, NY on Saturday, May 14th, 2005 #504.

~ “Relative to our children or any children with whom we would interact, our one dominant intention would be to give them a conscious understanding of how powerful and important and valuable and perfect they are. Every word that would come out of our mouths would be a word that would be offered with the desire to help this individual know that they are powerful. It would be a word of empowerment. We would set the Tone for upliftment and understand that everything will gravitate to that Tone if we would maintain it consistently.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Chicago, IL on Saturday, July 19th, 1997 #469.

~ “Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you’ve come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I’m always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Seattle, WA on Sunday, July 4th, 1999 #453.

~ “Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can’t do anything about. And you can’t do anything about your adult children. You can want better for them, and maybe even begin to provide something for them, but in the long run, you cannot do anything about someone else’s vibration other than hold them in the best light you can, mentally, and then project that to them. And sometimes, distance makes that much more possible than being up close to them.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Ashland, OR on Saturday, July 19th, 2003 #437.

~ “Children coming forth today have a greater capacity to deal with the greater variety of information that is coming forward than you did. They deliberately are coming forth into this environment where there is more to contemplate. This generation gap that you are talking about, it has ever been thus. Each new generation, every new individual, that comes forth, is coming with you having prepared a different platform for them to proceed from. There is this thing that gets in the way of that that says, ‘I’m the parent. I got here first. I know more than you do.’ From the children’s perspective, and from the purity of their Nonphysical Perspective, what they are saying is, ‘You’re the parent. You got here first. You prepared a platform that I am leaping off from — and my leap will be beyond anything that you have ever known.'” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in San Rafael, CA on Saturday, February 27th, 1999 #395.

~ “The child is thinking, and receiving vibrational thought from you on the day that he enters your environment. That is the reason that beliefs are transmitted so easily from parent to child, from parent to child, from parent to child. The child is vibrationally receiving your fears, your beliefs, even without your spoken word… If you want to do that which is of greatest value for your child, give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive only those wanted thoughts.” Abraham, excerpted from “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham” #385.

~ “The most important thing that you can teach your children is that wWell-being abounds. And that Well-being is naturally flowing to them. And that if they will relax and reach for thoughts that feel good, and do their best to appreciate, then they will be less likely to keep the Well-being away, and more likely to allow it to flow into their experience. Teach them the Art of allowing.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Milwaukee, WI on Wednesday, July 5th, 2000 #363.

~ “Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Syracuse, NY on Thursday, October 17th, 1996 #347.

~ “When a child has a dream and a parent says, “It’s not financially feasible; you can’t make a living at that; don’t do it,” we say to the child, run away from home… You must follow your dream. You will never be joyful if you don’t. Your dream may change, but you’ve got to stay after your dreams. You have to.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Asheville, NC on Sunday, May 1st, 2005 #330.”Most people don’t think that new-born children could be the Creator of their own reality because they are not even talking yet. But the Universe is not responding to your language, anyway. The Universe is responding to your vibration — and your vibration is about the way you feel.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Seattle, WA on Saturday, June 20th, 1998. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “Your child is naturally joyful. Your child is naturally tuned in to Source Energy. And as he is diving through and digging through contrast, it is natural that there would be some things that might disconnect him. Just don’t let his disconnection then inflame your disconnection. Many parents have discovered that their children, for the most part, feel good when they do — and the ornerier you are, usually the ornerier your children are. They are a strong reflection of the way you are feeling much of the time.” – Excerpted from the workshop in San Antonio, TX on Saturday, January 26th, 2002. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “If you encourage your children to stay connected to Source Energy, they will remain clear-minded; they will remain optimistic; they will remain enthusiastic. They will remain balanced; they will remain flexible. They will remain in a state of grace. They will remain in a state of Well-Being. And they will make wonderful choices.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Philadelphia, PA on Thursday, May 12th, 2005. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “The little ones still remember how to use the power of their imagination. They are still engaged in the utilization of their imagination — that is one of the reasons that keeps them so exhilarated.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Spokane, WA on Wednesday, July 7th, 1999. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “The most significant thing for a parent to contribute to anyone, is their own Connection and their own stability. An effective parent is a happy parent. An effective parent is a parent who laughs easily and often, and who doesn’t take things so seriously.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Albany, NY on Monday, October 1st, 2001. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.” – George Bernard Shaw

~ “The question is, ‘Well, what about the little ones? What about the (unhealthy) babies?’ And we say they’ve been exposed to a vibration, even in the womb, that caused them to disallow the Well-being that would have been there otherwise. But once they are born, no matter what their disability, if they could be encouraged to the thought that would allow it, then, even after the body is fully formed, it could be regenerated into something that is well.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Ashland, OR on Tuesday, May 16th, 2000).

~ “There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it.” – Irena Chalmers

~ “Parents often think that they are here to guide the little ones. When – in reality – the little ones come forth with clarity to guide you.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Orlando, FL on Saturday, February 15th, 1997.

~ “A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die.” – Mary Mason

~ ”A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination, prepared to be herself and only herself.” – Maya Angelou

~ “Who you are and what you know when you are born is everything that you need to know to thrive. You are born with a sense of self and a sense of wanting self to feel good, and the mechanisms to bring it about.” Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Kansas City, KS on Wednesday, September 17th, 2003.