Conscious Parenting

Posted on 14 June, 2013 by Judith Halek

~ “The children desire freedom! And every particle of their being from their Source says, ‘You are free. You are so free, that every thought you offer, the entire Universe jumps to respond to it.’ And so, to take that kind of knowledge and try to confine it in any way, defies the Laws of the Universe. You must allow your children to be free, because the entire Universe is set up to accommodate that. And anything you do to the contrary will only bring you regret. You cannot contain those that cannot be contained. It defies Law.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Atlanta, GA on Sunday, September 19th, 1999 #400

~ “The little ones still remember how to use the power of their imagination. They are still engaged in the utilization of their imagination — that is one of the reasons that keeps them so exhilarated.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Spokane, WA on Wednesday, July 7th, 1999 # 394.

~ “Babies Are Thinking and Attracting Before They Are Speaking… Even though you are only months old in your physical body, you are a very old and wise creator focused in that baby’s body. And you came with powerful intentions to experience contrast and to launch clear rockets of desire into your Vibrational Reality for the purpose of expansion. People often assume that because a child is not yet offering words, the child could not be the creator of its own experience, but it is our promise to you that no one else is creating your experience. Children emanate Vibrations which are the reason for what they attract – even from their time of birth.” – Excerpted from the book, The Vortex, Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships # 333.

~ “Parents don’t want their children to make the wrong decisions, so they don’t allow them to make the decision. And then the child becomes dependent, and then the parent resents that, and it gets off into a blameful thing early on. If you are encouraging children to do all that they can do — and not squelching the natural eagerness that is within them, so that they can shine and thrive and show you and themselves how good they are at adapting to physical experience — then everyone wins.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Dallas, TX on Saturday, March 13th, 1999 # 393.

~ “If we had a child, or anyone, and we caught them doing something inappropriate, we would not amplify it with our words. We would identify what it is we do not want, and then out of it would come the rocket of desire of what we do want, and then we would just visualize, visualize, visualize, until we find peace within our vision. When you make someone and their action the heart of a vision that you’ve spent time on — your relationship improves, your experience is better, and they receive the benefit of the experience. But if you catch them, and see them, and worry about it, and put mechanisms in place to prevent it, now you have not only amplified it, you have now made a commitment that is hooking you both into that, until usually it gets big enough that you break apart, and then you attract others to fulfill that role.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Chicago, IL on Sunday, April 25th, 1999 #588.

~ “The reason the grandchildren will benefit by the launched rockets that you’ve set forth; is because they’re born with no resistance to the rockets of desires that you’ve launched forth… You’ve seen those little ones on computers? They have no problem with that. They were born with computers in their life; they’re born cable-ready. They’re already up to speed with what you’ve launched into the vibrational future. And that’s one of the reasons that it’s nice when the old ones croak and the new ones come in, because it sort of dilutes the resistance factor that’s going on on this planet.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Tarrytown, NY on Saturday, May 14th, 2005 #504.

~ “Relative to our children or any children with whom we would interact, our one dominant intention would be to give them a conscious understanding of how powerful and important and valuable and perfect they are. Every word that would come out of our mouths would be a word that would be offered with the desire to help this individual know that they are powerful. It would be a word of empowerment. We would set the Tone for upliftment and understand that everything will gravitate to that Tone if we would maintain it consistently.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Chicago, IL on Saturday, July 19th, 1997 #469.

~ “Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you’ve come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I’m always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Seattle, WA on Sunday, July 4th, 1999 #453.

~ “Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can’t do anything about. And you can’t do anything about your adult children. You can want better for them, and maybe even begin to provide something for them, but in the long run, you cannot do anything about someone else’s vibration other than hold them in the best light you can, mentally, and then project that to them. And sometimes, distance makes that much more possible than being up close to them.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Ashland, OR on Saturday, July 19th, 2003 #437.

~ “Children coming forth today have a greater capacity to deal with the greater variety of information that is coming forward than you did. They deliberately are coming forth into this environment where there is more to contemplate. This generation gap that you are talking about, it has ever been thus. Each new generation, every new individual, that comes forth, is coming with you having prepared a different platform for them to proceed from. There is this thing that gets in the way of that that says, ‘I’m the parent. I got here first. I know more than you do.’ From the children’s perspective, and from the purity of their Nonphysical Perspective, what they are saying is, ‘You’re the parent. You got here first. You prepared a platform that I am leaping off from — and my leap will be beyond anything that you have ever known.'” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in San Rafael, CA on Saturday, February 27th, 1999 #395.

~ “The child is thinking, and receiving vibrational thought from you on the day that he enters your environment. That is the reason that beliefs are transmitted so easily from parent to child, from parent to child, from parent to child. The child is vibrationally receiving your fears, your beliefs, even without your spoken word… If you want to do that which is of greatest value for your child, give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive only those wanted thoughts.” Abraham, excerpted from “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham” #385.

~ “The most important thing that you can teach your children is that wWell-being abounds. And that Well-being is naturally flowing to them. And that if they will relax and reach for thoughts that feel good, and do their best to appreciate, then they will be less likely to keep the Well-being away, and more likely to allow it to flow into their experience. Teach them the Art of allowing.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Milwaukee, WI on Wednesday, July 5th, 2000 #363.

~ “Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Syracuse, NY on Thursday, October 17th, 1996 #347.

~ “When a child has a dream and a parent says, “It’s not financially feasible; you can’t make a living at that; don’t do it,” we say to the child, run away from home… You must follow your dream. You will never be joyful if you don’t. Your dream may change, but you’ve got to stay after your dreams. You have to.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Asheville, NC on Sunday, May 1st, 2005 #330.”Most people don’t think that new-born children could be the Creator of their own reality because they are not even talking yet. But the Universe is not responding to your language, anyway. The Universe is responding to your vibration — and your vibration is about the way you feel.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Seattle, WA on Saturday, June 20th, 1998. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “Your child is naturally joyful. Your child is naturally tuned in to Source Energy. And as he is diving through and digging through contrast, it is natural that there would be some things that might disconnect him. Just don’t let his disconnection then inflame your disconnection. Many parents have discovered that their children, for the most part, feel good when they do — and the ornerier you are, usually the ornerier your children are. They are a strong reflection of the way you are feeling much of the time.” – Excerpted from the workshop in San Antonio, TX on Saturday, January 26th, 2002. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “If you encourage your children to stay connected to Source Energy, they will remain clear-minded; they will remain optimistic; they will remain enthusiastic. They will remain balanced; they will remain flexible. They will remain in a state of grace. They will remain in a state of Well-Being. And they will make wonderful choices.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Philadelphia, PA on Thursday, May 12th, 2005. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “The little ones still remember how to use the power of their imagination. They are still engaged in the utilization of their imagination — that is one of the reasons that keeps them so exhilarated.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Spokane, WA on Wednesday, July 7th, 1999. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “The most significant thing for a parent to contribute to anyone, is their own Connection and their own stability. An effective parent is a happy parent. An effective parent is a parent who laughs easily and often, and who doesn’t take things so seriously.” – Excerpted from the workshop in Albany, NY on Monday, October 1st, 2001. Jerry and Esther Hicks (Abraham).

~ “Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.” – George Bernard Shaw

~ “The question is, ‘Well, what about the little ones? What about the (unhealthy) babies?’ And we say they’ve been exposed to a vibration, even in the womb, that caused them to disallow the Well-being that would have been there otherwise. But once they are born, no matter what their disability, if they could be encouraged to the thought that would allow it, then, even after the body is fully formed, it could be regenerated into something that is well.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Ashland, OR on Tuesday, May 16th, 2000).

~ “There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it.” – Irena Chalmers

~ “Parents often think that they are here to guide the little ones. When – in reality – the little ones come forth with clarity to guide you.” – Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Orlando, FL on Saturday, February 15th, 1997.

~ “A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die.” – Mary Mason

~ ”A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination, prepared to be herself and only herself.” – Maya Angelou

~ “Who you are and what you know when you are born is everything that you need to know to thrive. You are born with a sense of self and a sense of wanting self to feel good, and the mechanisms to bring it about.” Abraham, excerpted from the workshop in Kansas City, KS on Wednesday, September 17th, 2003.

Where To Have A Baby: Home – Hospital – Birth Center?

Posted on 23 January, 2013 by Judith Halek

When making a decision of where to have your baby there are a score of questions to consider:

1. Measure of Risk vs. Control.

2. Pain Management vs. Natural Coping Tools (How do you personally view medicine: do you trust or mistrust the medical model medicine or would prefer the alternative coping tools?)

3. Baby-Centered ASPECT: considering what’s important:

a. Separation of the baby at birth.

b. Potential Medications going into your Baby. (These could be allopathic or alternative medicines.)

4. Where do you feel SAFE / SUPPORTED? Most important question to ask yourself.

5. What are your greatest FEARS with birth?

6. Why are you choosing the place to have your baby?

7. Have you ever SEEN a birth? TV, internet, film, live?

8. What was YOUR BIRTH like? What about your siblings? Grandmothers?

9. Were you breastfed? How long?

10. What is an image of an IDEAL BIRTH?

11. AUTHORITY, what does that mean to you? You may need to let someone else make decisions for you and your baby. If this is your preference, labor doulas/assistants, will give you information regarding personal choices and you will either assume that power or give the power away be it to a medical caregiver, doula, childbirth educator, sister, friend, or a mother.

Homebirth and Hospital environments are at one end of the spectrum and a Birth Center is a happy medium whether it is located in hospital or free standing out of hospital.
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When I interviewed a mother of two, planning a Home Birth, the following were MOST important to her:

1. EMPOWERMENT: Feeling like she had some sort of say/power/control/connection with what was happening during her pregnancy, labor and birth. Surrounding herself with a TEAM of women to support HER NEEDS, not their agenda’s.

2. READING: two favorite books:

a. Nurturing Your Unborn Child, By Thomas Verny, Pam Weintraub

b. Continuum Concept, Jean Liedloff

3. MEDICAL PERSON: Visits with the MIDWIFE, even though the midwife was not warm and fuzzy, she was supportive to the mother’s wishes and did not ‘yes’ her at the prenatals.

a. She had a NUTRITIONIST on staff who had the mother write down one week’s diet. The nutritionist went over it with her to make sure she was getting all the appropriate nutrients included in her diet.

This mother, who’d not eaten yogur,t was told by a friend, “EAT YOGURT…you need yogurt.” The midwife asked her if she even liked yogurt and the mother said NO…so the suggestion was to bone up on other protein and calcium foods she DID eat and like. She didn’t do something because someone told her to do it.

4. DOULA: Having another set of hands, a friend, a doula, someone who could communicate with her without even speaking…knowing exactly where to massage, or bring her something to drink or eat was invaluable! Chemistry was very important!!.

(THE PARENTS MAY BE INTERVIEWING THE DOULA and THE DOULA IS INTERVIEWING THE PARENTS.)

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When I interviewed a mother of three, pregnant with her fourth child, planning on a Hospital Birth, the following were MOST important to her:

1. EXERCISE: Helped labor go more smoothly, body felt more toned, strong during pregnancy and labor. Recovery was faster, more in touch with her body, and found exercising everyday was really important.

a. With one baby, she exercised more often than with the others. As a result of this, she feels her baby girl is much stronger in her body than her other children because of that.

2. MASSAGE:Towards the end of the pregnancy and even earlier stages she was having regular massage. (once a week.) It helps to release the pain in her body, the back, etc. and helped her to feel more comfortable, particularly in the last few months. It was a time for bonding with her baby and her doula. It’s important the doula bond with the baby as well.

3. DOULA: Incredible, ultimate support to have someone there with the knowledge, experience and insights as to what might happen next, or what to do when things were happening. Doula’s know what to ask and how to make her more comfortable.

4. READING: 10 books at my bedside…can’t really remember…all.

a. Week to Week book on Development: her favorite:

b. Pregnancy Week-by-Week[Spiral-Bound]Jane McDougall

c. Was reading some book on a special breathing technique from Switzerland…never really helped me…second birth pushing stage was really important what she did that time..blow instead of push hard!!.

5. OBSTETRICIAN:She chose an OB instead of a midwife. The bad thing about it was it was a group practice instead of a private practice and it was random who she would get for the birth. She felt they were all good doctors, but didn’t like the randomness.

6. HOSPITAL SETTING: She had expectations of what it would be like. Checking in was annoying, but she dealt with that. She was pleased with the nurses and staff overall and felt most safe to have her babies there.
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When I interviewed a mother with her first pregnancy, planning on a Birth Center, the following were MOST important to her:

1. CONVENIENT FOR INSURANCE: because they decided not to have a home birth, this was the best of both worlds.

2. CHOICE REASON: The husband was not comfortable to do the home birth, perfect balance in his mind. RISK FREE: to him meant being IN a birth center, close to the facilities that could help out, “just in case”.

There was no luxuriating in the Birth Center. They wanted her out within 12 hours postpartum. She wanted to be out because the nurses were mad at her she wouldn’t get out of the tub when she was pushing so in turn, they were less gentle with her baby.

3. DOULA: was key to her birth because her doula was a ‘water specialist.’ This was the most important factor for her…more than her medical caregiver who knew nothing about water birth. Her 1^st birth was on the obstetrical floor and the 1st underwater birth at that hospital. Her 2^nd child, was at the same hospital in the birth center this time, underwater.

4. PREPARATION FOR BIRTHS: Because of the desire to have a waterbirth this mother read a number of waterbirth books, articles and watched one video out at that time. This was 1993 & 1996. The father’s comments were, “laboring and birthing in water is more like making love.” The childbirth education was mandatory for them to be in the birth center but they did not find it particularly valuable.

5. BIRTH PLAN: The obstetrician suggested and encouraged the mother to have a BIRTH PLAN and to hang it in the birth room on the wall so the nurses and other staff people could see her wishes. The DOULA also supported the idea. It was more important in the preparation of doing it because it helped her be clear about what she wanted and not wanted.

6. BEFORE PG – COLONICS: With the first pregnancy, she did a lot of them in order to get ready for the pregnancy which helped her feel more balanced and clean. At 36 years old, she conceived her child on the first try. With the second child almost 3 years later, she didn’t do any colonics and it took 3 months to conceive.
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When I interviewed a father of three, pregnant with their fourth child, planning on a Hospital Birth, the following were MOST important to him:

WHY CHOSE A HOSPITAL BIRTH: He didn’t really draw a line with their decision to go to a hospital as a major decision. He realize he’d never been at a home birth and had nothing to compareit to other than, several couples he know who’d completely gone the other way and had no doctors visits with the following results:

1. delivered a stillborn at home with a midwife,

2. child almost died because the cord was tangled around its neck,

3. delivered at 27 weeks, had a C section and the baby is still in the NICU (had she not gotten there asap, it would have been disastrous).

For him,understanding the protocol in the hospital was essential notbecause he had to obey it, but because being in the hospital environment offered him options in case something went wrong. Options that might not be available quick enough when doing a home birth. Although these kinds of complications are a small possibility in childbirth, his understanding is there is little time after a complication occurs to make decisions.

2. DOULA: -Was helpful as being well educated and conveying, not everything he hospital requires HAS to be done when the hospital wants it done.

3. WIFE CARE: It was very important to this father to make sure his partner is able to feel calm and she was in good hands to focus on her “delivery.” This was achieved by the combination of having the right food, water, doctor and level of support from everyone in a relaxed manner.

4. COMMUNICATIONS WITH Obstetrician: His prior experiences with an obstetrician in a hospital was the understanding there might be times in the process when the parents are questioned. If that happens not to take it personally. This was a tough one because the parents have to haveenough self-confidence to stay centered in that situation.

5. SUMMARY: He thinks the most important thing is to understand that being well prepared requires good education, That’s where I think a doula or birth assistant invaluable!
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From MY perspective, the MOST important key elements at any birth:

BREATH / BODY / BABY

1. Stay connected to your BREATH, which is your heart coherence center.

2. Stay present by being IN your BODY as opposed to leaving or numbing your body.

3. Always keep the lines of communication and connection open with your BABY.

TRUTH AS I KNOW IT:

As a birth caregiver, I can get the word out there but ultimately, it is up to the mother and baby to integrate, assimilate and implement the information or suggestions to the best of their ability. There are no failures, there is only experience and from that experience is the potential for learning, growth and finding peace with whatever unfolds.