The Future of Our Children

 

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TO ALL WHO “SURVIVED” THE 1950′s, 60′s and 70′s…

Jay Leno,  Television Talk Show Host

(February 2009)

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank while they were pregnant. They also took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and they didn’t get tested for diabetes. We were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors of cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we wore baseball caps and not helmets on our heads. We rode in cars with no infant car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, and riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm sunny day was a sumertime treat for every kid and teenager and family dog.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one died from it. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and things cooked with bacon grease. We drank Kool-Aid made with real sugar and rarely ever were any of us overweight. Why? Because we were always outside playing… that’s why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back by the time the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.!

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, got a few broke bones, and there were no lawsuits from these incidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out everyone’s eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! And the idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law- and the law actually sided with the PARENTS.

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors in history. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with ALL of it. If you are one of the lucky ones who were fortunate enough to grow up in America BEFORE the lawyers and the government regulated childhood out of existence, congratulations! Try not to cry today when you look at your grandchild’s smiling sweet face, try not to think of what a pittiful excuse for a childhood they’re going to have compared to yours. Cry when you think of THEIR children.

“With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe storms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”

Father Knows Best – Oprah

On April 13, 2009, Oprah did a show on the challenges and wonders of fatherhood.  While there are far more single mothers, there are about 2 million single fathers in the United States. They deal with all of the struggles a single mother does.  Schedules, cooking, laundry, school activities.  Oprah celebrated these ‘unsung heroes’ on her show.  There were four rather unusual stories that will shock you, move you, bring tears to your eyes as these amazing men find the strength, stamina, heartfelt, selfless duty and love, to share with their children.

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One father, Larry Shine, lost his wife, Kate, two and a half years after the birth of their first child. He went on to adopt eight more children from all over the world. Watch a typical day in a house of 10. Larry is a full time corporate attorney and he starts his day at 3 am.  Not only would nine children be a challenge, but the household could not have been complete without their token dog, Betty the Bulldog.

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Another father, Matt Logelin and his partner Liz, had just became a proud new parents with a beautiful baby girl, Madeline.  Born in the morning and by the afternoon, Liz died of a blood clot no one knew she had. Matt had to mourn the loss of his wife and find and follow-through with a typical day of diaper changes and life moving on.  Matt created a blog to help him cope with the pain (view his blog here). Thousands of people started reading Matt’s blog. This online community shocked him.  Complete strangers were sending him money, toys etc. Matt believes in the ‘give back as much as been given.’ He’s been recycling the clothing Madeleine has grown out of, and has established The Liz Logelin Foundation which helps widows and widowers with children.

gay-fathers-opra

The next couple, Gregory Maguire and Andy Newman fell in love and adopted three children from Cambodia and Guatemala. While they might be judged as unconventional by some people…they believe their household is ‘just like any others.’   The names the kids have given their dads are:  ”Dada” and “Ba,” the Khmer word for father.

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Probably the most touching and heart wrenching story was of a couple Dana Canedy and Charles King. During Dana’s pregnancy, Charles was deployed to Iraq. Six months after Dana gave birth to their son, Jordan, Charles was give 2 weeks leave to see his new family. A full, whirl wind of a visit was to be his only visit with his son. Sadly, Charles returned to Iraq, he was killed in a roadside bombing.  When Dana was five and half months pregnant, she’d bought a journal for Charles to record his notes to his unborn son, Jordan.  Charles became obsessed with putting down on paper his deepest thoughts about what he wanted to say to his unborn son.  After a long day, Charles would come back to his bunk and spend countless hours therapeutically, writing, releasing and sharing.  He wrote about the power of God and prayer in his life. He wrote about his love for the military service and more than anything about his respect for women. What a gift this father gave to his son.

One note to Dana in his journal: “This is the letter that every soldier should write.  I want to thank you for our son…I’d like to see him grow up to be a man, but only God knows what the future holds” (See what Charles wrote on his son here).

Men don’t typically keep journals. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they might take a lesson from Charles about the preciousness of life, teaching, learning, sharing and pick up that pen and write down in words, that which they might not say directly to their partners, children or family. The world would be a different place.